Gyan Dena: Dear Baby Girl, My Boyfriend Is ‘Confused’

dear girl,

For the last 10 months I am in an intimate relationship with a guy. We are both 18 full. Everything was going so smoothly that we went out together, and all of his friends considered us completely serious and committed to each other.

Then suddenly everything changed. He started blaming me for the fact that he had started losing interest in his studies. He told me that he is in depression, and he is going to block me from his WhatsApp and even from his life. He even told a mutual friend of ours that he felt nothing for me. So you can understand why all this is giving me so much pain. I want to help her, but if I can’t meet her, how can I meet her in person?

We had a lovely relationship, so I think this animosity is only a temporary barrier resulting in him not admitting his academic failures. I’m turning to you because I have no one to confide in and advise me on how to get back into his life. My parents are out of the question as they are very traditional minded, and their only solution would be to arrange a marriage for me immediately. Last thing I need.

-caringdecan

Dear Caring the Can,

Okay, so here we have ‘The Endemic Indian Romantic Element’ again.

The boy is suffering from Acute Cold Phytitis. The girl suffers from acute myopia which prevents her from reading what is written on the wall despite being as big as the first line on an optician’s chart. Yes, Ex Loverboy is ‘Confused’. But not for the reason you are mentioning. He can’t seem to figure out a good way to tell you that he led you on a garden path (perhaps unintentionally) so he’s making these absurd excuses for his failures. It means that you, my sweet girl, have landed on a bed of thorns instead of the expected one strewn with rose petals.

You’re hoping he’ll come back to you crawling on your knees, apologizing, and it’ll be ‘All well that ends well’, or rather, ‘All well that reboots again’. If this wonderful scenario happens, you are free to forgive, forget, and start anew. But for now, please accept the first case, that is, the present bleak. Give away the illusion that the guy really still loves you, and it’s only a matter of time before he realizes it.

As I keep telling you blind lovers, ‘Get the message out, and get your self-respect back.’ It’s hard to forget, but at 18 you’re only at the beginning of tough decisions. The good news is that you have plenty of time to learn from your mistakes, and finally make the right choices, baby.

Ask your baby girl @youaskweanswer@timesinternet.in

(Write Giving Knowledge in the subject line of your email)

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