Teenage boys are twice as likely to commit suicide as girls, and as boys become men, they are three times more likely to commit suicide than women. After years on the frontline of teaching and observing, for the first time, declines in teen mental health, an educator has warned that we need to better tackle male anger, friendships and attitudes towards sex to tackle the male suicide crisis Is. Official figures for England, Scotland and Wales show that in 2020, 264 people aged 10-19 died by suicide – 72% of these were boys. In England, suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45. Women are three times more likely to die by suicide. While the statistics surrounding male suicide paint a bleak picture of the future for boys in our schools, teacher Matt Pinkett thinks all is not lost.
What can be done?
Pinkett has gathered evidence from teachers and school staff, wellbeing experts and clinicians to create a powerful guide to helping boys in Boys Don’t Cry, to be released next month. The practical and engaging guide, backed by the latest research from the fields of psychology and education, suggests that teachers should stop stigmatizing anger and instead help angry boys understand the neurological and physiological causes of their feelings. Pinkett says: “Anger is not an inherently bad thing and telling boys this leads to shame and hiding. Instead, how about we teach them that anger is a natural emotion like happiness or sadness, and teach them how to manage it?” Give ways of it and words to talk about it?”
He also suggested that teachers need to idealize loving, male relationships, and need to assume that every social interaction that occurs in the classroom is being observed and assimilated. He advises male teachers to openly compliment male colleagues, to speak lovingly about other people, and to praise and salute male emotional vulnerability wherever and whenever possible. “I’m not suggesting that we should ever try to be therapists—it’ll never work,” Pinkett explains, “but the fact is we’re in front of these kids for large parts of our lives. If If we can talk positively about male emotions and demonstrate ways to deal with problematic emotions, that would be a powerful thing.”
talk is not enough
In ‘Boys Do Cry’, Pinkett advocates the benefits of ‘bromance’, suggesting that teachers and schools make use of this relatively recent phenomenon of male-to-male relationships. They argue that in teaching boys about bromance, educators can equip young men with the skills to actively listen and demonstrate compassion and affection for each other. They suggest that teachers can help facilitate emotional bonding between boys and help build supportive friendships.
He explains: “The problem isn’t encouraging young men to talk – it’s teaching their peers to listen. Research shows that boys don’t listen as well as girls. Encouraging boys and men to speak up There’s a lot of talk about doing, but are we teaching them to support each other by listening effectively?”
Demonstrated through research and case studies, Pinkett argues that boys crave emotional intimacy and the freedom to express themselves without being judged, but toxic ideas about masculinity are preventing these fruitful peer relationships.
“We need to teach boys to be compassionate, and that it’s okay to be vulnerable and emotionally candid,” he says.
benefits to society
With its research-backed tools and tips, Pinkett hopes the book will give teachers the confidence to really engage with difficult subjects—for the benefit of all. “This isn’t just a problem for teenage boys. If we can teach these boys to get rid of those harmful and outdated expectations of what it means to be a man, then the whole society will be better off,” Pinkett says. “Only through the education of young people can the scourge of male-female sexual abuse, assault and harassment be eradicated.”
‘Boys Don’t Cry’ examines key research on the factors affecting boys’ mental health, including topics such as body image, pornography and self-harm, and provides practical strategies for educators to drive positive change Is. With her extensive research, she has provided advice on how to intervene when a child is at risk, from tips on how to set up work groups to foster friendships while learning. “It’s not about turning teachers into therapists,” Pinkett says, “it’s about being brave enough to intervene and give boys a chance to learn another way.”