ETimes had a long conversation with Tusshar about this. Here are excerpts from the conversation:
You named your son Lakshya, which is so fitting; Children are the first priority of every parent…
Goal means goal. Children should be the first priority of all parents. So my goal is the same. The credit for naming him goes to his aunt, my sister Ekta.
How did the name ‘Lakshya’ come about?
Ekta shortlisted a few names which were based on certain letters. Among them I found Target unique; is not common. So, we decided to go with him.
How did you decide to write the book?
When Lakshya turned 4, some of my friends and co-workers asked me why not write my experiences of single parenting in a book. He said that my journey has been different. After that, I got an offer from Penguin. I thought ‘Okay, let me present a different Tusshar to the world, Tusshar who is not just an actor but also a parent and a writer’. The lockdown gave me enough time and it all added up.
How did you decide on the name ‘Bachelor Dad’ for the book?
A writer-friend suggested the name. Penguin and I both liked the title too.
How did your ideas come together?
Initially, I wondered if I had enough to weave this into one book. Initially I thought 7 chapters would be enough. But I was told that the book cannot be too short. Now, I was quite busy during the lockdown phase as I was also in the post-production of a film. Again, I didn’t want to overlook my workouts. So, I decided that I will reserve the time after 9.30 pm for writing.
Slowly, I began to feel that I had more than I thought.
it went well. It took me 10 months to complete the writing part. I decided to pen it first and send it across, but I was told I would have to use a Word file.
It reminds me of the way I wrote stories in my early days as a journalist. I wrote them with a pen in a rough book and later wrote them using a computer/laptop.
I still haven’t met Penguin in person. It was all about online meetings.
Who did you first tell that you wanted to be a dad but in a different way?
I talked to myself first. After being reassured, I went through the medical steps involved. Once it was successful, the first thing I did was tell my mom. He went ahead and told my father. After two months I told Ekta. I went on the instructions of the doctor. We should have been very confidential about it because it had to be done in a very sensitive way—and we took steps to break it down in the family.
mother’s (Shobha Kapoor) Feedback?
She was a little surprised. She was a little surprised. He said that if I am ready to take responsibility then he is with me in this decision. He said- Dad as grandparents and he will help me but it is me who has to be clear about my journey ahead. So thankfully there was no objection.
father’s (Jeetendra) Feedback?
I wondered if he would be surprised that I was doing something wrong or how it would all turn out. But he was very cool about it. What is the point of his reaction, that I have disclosed in the book.
Didn’t he break into a dance? I can’t forget his dance on screen…
Dad is not overly excited when it comes to making decisions about his family. He was an extrovert as an actor. I wouldn’t say that he has changed radically but he is a different person. After all, how different life has become in our film world has become extremely uncertain. But no, he doesn’t break into a dance (smiles). He has become very cautious and weighs his options. If I take him to a dance-reality show, he’ll dance his heart out without batting an eyelid—but that’s a different story.
I remember you talking about your sister Ekta’s reaction: ‘You have guts’…
He didn’t say that in the sense that I did something shocking. After Lakshya was born and I was about to announce, she said that my decision would show the way to others. This is the context in which he said that I have courage. Many people want to be a single parent but they are afraid. But no, I didn’t do it with the intention of breaking any path or being a path-breaking one.
You have said that you wrote ‘Bachelor Dad’ also because you tried to convey some messages in the media but they got lost in translation. What were those messages?
Just like you are asking me, people ask me how I have managed. But they do not get the right picture through interview. So I decided why not put it out there from the start. Some people think I am doing a difficult task. Some people think my parents helped me. Some people want to know why I didn’t adopt instead. I’m not saying that a lot of things got lost in translation. But people have some questions that I thought I would answer through a book.
With Ekta’s son Ravi joining the family, Lakshya will have good company. It’s going to be a lot of fun at home…
It is more merrier. Ravi is also like my son. Lakshya loves him very much. Ravi also looks at her a lot. I’m glad they grow up together.
how does it feel to go to parties like Taimur‘s birthday?
I like to hang out with my friends inside and out Bollywood, who are parents. I love to socialize on that front. Initially when I was not a parent, I hardly socialized. Like these days, even if I go to Lakshya’s school, I get socialized. My son has changed my life.
There must have been nights that kept you awake for the goal…
Not many nights. He has been a very happy baby who has slept soundly at nights.
I have loved this journey of parenthood. I wouldn’t say there weren’t many challenges, but it’s been a lot of fun. As such, it took me a long time to decide which school I should enroll her in. I faced these challenges like a fish takes to the water. I was old enough to handle it. I wanted it in that part of my life. It has completed me. However, there is still a journey ahead. I hope that I am doing well.
You are getting into the real estate business…
My father’s business is in the real estate business. I am helping him with that. Acting is my first passion and profession and it remains that way. I have also become a producer and will continue to produce films. Real-estate is my father’s child and it’s not like I’m much into it right now; We’ve been doing this for the past few years and I don’t know where that takes us. But it’s been fun so far.
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