The initiative began on Kimmel’s show in 2010, where he advised his viewers, “Post a status update that says, ‘I’m moving this weekend and I need help.’ The people answering? They’re your friends. Everyone else isn’t.”
He has accepted informal leave over the years.
CNN has contacted ABC for comment on the occasion, but has not received a response.
“Social media is such a wonderful tool to make us feel happy, and on the contrary it can be overwhelming because in today’s world, in the virtual world, we are receiving many messages from multiple sources many times a day,” says Flores. he said . “The mind is not made to handle all this.”
It takes emotional energy to filter out posts that bring you closer to people and that can strike a nerve—and even more energy—to figure out how to overcome those bad feelings.
Where we once argued with friends in person, agreed to disagree and then had a beer together, we are now often using public posts and separate messages to communicate in a way that We will never meet face to face, she said.
What’s worse, Flores said, is that with such an influx of information, people really only have time to look at headlines and argue without understanding the specifics.
“We should be able to have these conversations. We think we’re having these conversations, but we really aren’t,” she said.
The result is that sometimes it is better for us not to connect online, where the problem may not always be solved. This could mean taking a break from online platforms, unfollowing, unfriending, or even blocking people whose posts cause you stress, anger, or anxiety.
Removing someone from your virtual world can be a difficult decision, so Flores considers three factors to decide whether to engage in conversation, unfollow their posts, or unfriend them.
i choose me
The first thing to consider are your own feelings, Flores said.
“To people who are more sociable or empathetic, this sounds selfish, but in reality it is not,” Flores said. “We forget what is good for us.”
She recommends listening to your body when it comes to those situations: How does my body feel? Is this giving me stress?
“If you feel like a constriction in your chest area… that’s usually a sign,” Flores said.
It’s also important to give yourself permission to set boundaries for yourself.
“It’s about setting limits, ‘Please don’t message me about this. It doesn’t do anything for me,'” Flores said. “If they can’t respect that, of course it’s an unfriend.”
equal effort
Instead of being unfriended, there may be motivation to argue with people who post something that makes you uncomfortable, but not every fight will be worth the toll it can take on your mental health, she said. said. ,
Engaging in controversial discussions, let alone on a virtual forum, takes a lot of effort, and Flores said it’s only engaging when the other person is willing to engage in an equally mature conversation.
“That means we don’t expend more than someone else’s energy,” she said. “It’s like a little dance, like if you give, I’ll give. If you take back, I can take back a little bit.”
Trust your understanding of that person—whether they’re friends, family, or casual online acquaintances—in deciding how open they’ll be to matching your energy. This context often makes it more useful to argue with people you know well and can predict what an exchange might look like.
For those casual acquaintances, understanding how the conversation might go can become too much of an emotional strain to pay off, she said. In those cases, it may be best to limit your interactions with those posts via unfollow or unfriend.
I will not be disrespected or devalued
There’s no need for someone to stand up for being abusive, hurtful or cruel to you in their posts or conversations, Flores said.
“That doesn’t mean you have to block people, but it usually means there has to be some kind of conversation to identify or establish your self-worth,” she said. “Otherwise, you’re going to sit and fiddle with what you see on social media.”
Flores advises that conversations take place in person or even over the phone, where the discussion can have more nuance, but even a text or private message can get the ball rolling.
“It could be a personal online message saying, ‘This shocked me, and I hope we can have a conversation about it,'” Flores said.
Or, if you’re not ready to join the conversation, you can send a message that starts a future conversation, such as “This is my idea, and I need to send it to you to marinate so we can.” Can discuss later.”
Unfollowing or unfriending someone can seem like a big deal if the conversation doesn’t go well, but Flores stresses that it’s important to maintain mental health and that you take steps to take care of yourself. Yes, they are important. It should not be permanent.
“You can always look back to see how they’re doing and if they’re good for you,” she said.