Ordinarily all parents wish that their growing children wait to have partner sex till they are adequately mature and have the psychological and emotional resources to manage relationships. It is so imperative for parents to be able to communicate this wish, while giving scientific information about all possible consequences of partner sex and the meaning of ‘responsible sex’.
While parents may encourage their children to postpone sexual intercourse, the reality is that many youngsters succumb to the temptation of becoming sexually active rather early when their hormones get raging. This is the reason, they need to be prepared to protect themselves, when they decide to engage in sexual relationship. Information about the emotional repercussions of partner sex, preventing sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy, are so very important to help a young adult make sound informed decisions.
“All are doing it” is an age-old employment. It not just applies to experimenting with alcohol and drugs, but also to attempting sex. It is thus so necessary to educate teenagers not to be taken in by it.
Many girls give in to the ‘peer pressure’ of so-called friends, or ’emotional blackmail’ from the boyfriends who warn of ending the relationship, if sex is not a part of it. It is so vital to ascertain if such ‘friends’ are truly friends who care about you… or they are simply instigating you to do what they are doing, so that they can justify that ‘everyone’ is doing what they are doing, and continue their indulgent irresponsible sexual behaviour.
Emotional blackmail is a clear indication that the person who is coercing you into sex doesn’t really respect your wishes. One should be wary of continuing in such a relationship where your partner can go to any extent to get his way. It is necessary to ask oneself whether one wants to be in a relationship where you are not respected, and only ‘used’ as a means to an end.
It is necessary that parents help their children understand the value of assertiveness, self-respect, privacy, and responsible decision-making. This can go a long way in helping young adults to decide about postponing partner sex.
A truly mature person can not only exercise freedom of choice, but is also ‘able and willing’ to bear the short-term and long-term consequences of that choice. Teaching responsibility as ‘response ability’, or the ‘ability to respond’ appropriately and effectively to pressures and temptations within and without, is the education every new age parent needs to impart to their children.
Often teenagers say they had intercourse the first time as they were ‘curious’. An open and frank conversation about sexuality within the family, can easily satisfy a ‘curiosity’ of a teenager and help her or him act more responsibly while exploring their sexuality.
A parent can communicate that one can have good intentions of abstaining from partner sex. However, to translate this intent into responsible behavior is not so easy owing to the high levels of arousal experienced due to raging hormones. One also needs to remember, that too at the right time, the possible consequences of irresponsible sexual behaviour, so as to follow responsible sexual behaviour.
Disclaimer
Views expressed above are the author’s own.
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