Aunts are in agony, and then there is the girl child. She’ll settle you. Back by popular demand, give wisdom
dear girl,
How do I deal with my overbearing mother? i just don’t have permission
To do anything my way. I’m 26 and she treats me like I’m 12. So bad that she still instructs me to dress, it’s even worse when she frowns at all my affairs. Even my romantic ones.
Especially my romantic ones. She doesn’t want me to enter a new relationship.
At least not one that doesn’t fit his ideal, whatever it may be. We are Gujarati Lohanas, and she wants me to find a girl from the same slot.
Whenever she comes to know that I am seeing someone, she starts including herself in it.
Like if I go out with the girl, she will keep calling again and again and ask me to come home early.
If I don’t do this, she starts throwing tantrums on the phone itself.
Embarrassing, no? When I reach home, his emotional blackmail starts.
I have lost three wonderful girls as a result of this. And now I am scared to get into another relationship.
Can you imagine what it would be like if I got married? I am fed up with his condition. How do I deal with my mother’s dictatorial behavior?
– harassed Harish
dear harassed harish
The best way to tell a dictator is to tell the truth of the house. But doing so is easier said than done. Frankly, your situation is hardly unique.
Domineering mothers are the unifying factor in the diversity that India is. In fact, it’s a universal truth that all moms think no girl is good enough for their darling beta, and instead believe that every girl is a scheming witch with a ‘B’, who is her gullible boy. who would naively fall for his tricks. .
So the problem will be with an Ai, Amma, Ammijaan or Maa, for a mother by any other name, it can be as heavy.
So, the pessimistic fact remains that even if you find a girl dressed in bandani and as Gujju as a garba-twisting gout, you won’t be spared.
However, there is no need to throw your hopes at Sabarmati and send an application for permanent residence in the ascetic ashram on its banks. Instead, stay where you are, but take a leaf out of Gandhiji. Start a non-cooperation movement against your mother’s strategy. Ignore his blackmail, even if it is a tough call for any decent person.
I sympathize with your fear of bringing a wife into this toxic
environment, and I know a lot of men in my community leave their girlfriends because their mother won’t divorce them! However, don’t give up or give up.
Besides the non-cooperation movement, you can try
Antonym. Sit down with Ba, tell him that no woman can take his place, but wouldn’t it be nice if he had someone to help him around the house?
What if she could spend more time watching her favorite serials than spending her life making dal-bhaat-shakas – and feeding her grandchildren all the shrikhand that she lavished on you?
It’s not as whimsical conspiracy as it sounds, as it could be a real-life scenario as well. Provided you are lucky to find a wife who can play ball with Baa.
These two can mix together like fafda-jalebi.
Oh Harsadbhai, before you start dreaming
Regarding this idiom, let me play the spoiler and say they might pair well with you. No! Just a joke. But do try Satyagraha or sweetness. Hoping someone got it working. Either way, don’t exchange your joys. this is your Life.
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Disclaimer
The views expressed above are those of the author.
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