not to say Liquor can be complicated. We have a lot of social pressure Christmas, even if it’s at home with family, a pressure we don’t fully understand until we try to say no.
I know because my partner has an inherited liver condition and can’t drink, and I regularly think about how people still try to put alcohol on him despite the health implications. I’ve seen people get very pushy and disgusted when they make it clear that they won’t attend.
The same is true with a friend who is a recovering alcoholic. Despite she being very clear about why she won’t drink, people still try to explain to her that ‘no one will get hurt’. Yes, it really will.
What’s wrong with people? Whether you drink or not should be entirely up to the individual.
In many ways, I think how people react to you saying ‘no’ to alcohol may reflect their own psychological hang-ups about drinking and the role alcohol plays in their lives. They are unconsciously holding the mirror to themselves and their relationship with alcohol and this can make them feel uncomfortable.
So, if you don’t want to drink or indulge too much this season—and when party season has kicked off, there will still be fewer sociables to navigate—here’s how to help you avoid alcohol. Is. Here are my eight tips for doing it. Christmas.
NHS psychiatrist Dr Max Pemberton shares his top eight tips for avoiding alcohol this Christmas (file image)
Don’t ‘Just Have One’
Make a clear commitment not to drink beforehand. If you go to a friend’s house with a vague notion of ‘well, maybe I’ll have one if I feel like it’, you’re more likely to give in and drink. Once you have one, chances are you’ll keep going and things will spiral, making you regret it in the morning. Don’t fall in this trap.
Be clear to yourself that you do not want to drink at all and plan in advance whether you are going to face any temptation during the day or evening. Remind yourself why you’ve decided not to drink — past bad experiences, health, weight loss — whatever your motivation.
let the host know quickly
If you can, alert the host in advance so they are aware. There is a high chance that they will pay attention to this initially when you offer them drinks, and if they are good hosts, they will intervene if people bother to drink you later. They can also tell you about other guests who won’t drink, so you can have a ally while you’re there.
it’s fake
If you’re at a party with a group of people you don’t know very well, clear the drink with ice and a slice of lemon or lime. People will assume it’s gin or vodka and tonic and stop asking you what you’re drinking. Why would you skip any unwanted discussion by ignoring the fact that you’re not drinking.
BYO
Even if you’ve told the host that you’re not drinking, don’t assume they’ll eat the food for you. Even if they have, they may have thought of nothing more than to bring a mixer for your drink. My partner always brings a non-alcoholic option with him.
Seedlip – available at Waitrose, Sainsbury’s and Tesco – has a delicious range of non-alcoholic spirits that make beautiful cocktails.
If the rest of the party is drinking wine, Jukes Cordialities (jukescordialities.com), a range of non-alcoholic cordials made by Mel’s own wine specialist, are made using apple cider vinegar and make a clever substitute. . , They have a complex, adult flavor and will feel like you are holding a glass of wine like everyone else.
don’t pay for it
If you’re going out to eat and drink, don’t feel obligated to pay the same as everyone else.
Dr. Max (pictured) said you don’t want anyone to explain why you’re not drinking, but if your reason is sensitive, there’s an excuse to shake hands
If you’re annoyed at paying for other people’s alcohol when you abstain from alcohol, that’s perfectly fine. Make it clear in advance that you are not drinking and therefore paying for what you order. Before distributing the bill, ask to see the bill as soon as it arrives so that any kind of dispute can be avoided. If you go with a partner or friend, ask them to speak as well and remind everyone that you don’t drink and therefore should pay less.
story is ready
If you feel comfortable talking about why you’re not drinking, think about what you’re going to say and be happy. Most reasonable people are just asking out of curiosity and will accept what you say and move on. People usually lead the other person, so if you don’t make a big deal out of it, usually they won’t either. State your reasons, then move on to the conversation.
…or make excuses
If the reason you can’t drink is sensitive, pretend to be on hand just in case. Maybe you’ve planned a workout for the morning, wake up too early or have designated drivers for the evening.
be humble and firm
Remember that you don’t want anyone to explain why you’re not drinking. If you don’t want to share your reason, that’s fine. It’s none of their business.
True friends will accept your decision and will not pressurize you. If people are teasing you, be polite but firm, and if people persist, walk away. And remember: You can still wish for Christmas without the ‘Merry’.
just admit you’re wrong, ben
Dr. Max said many people struggle to accept that they were responsible for substance abuse. Pictured: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
Ben Affleck has blamed his troubles for being ‘stuck’ in his marriage to ex-wife Jennifer Garner. There are a number of reasons why people turn to alcohol, or indeed drugs, or any form of unhelpful behavior. But why do we often feel the need to point the finger of blame? There is a difference between understanding the reason for your behavior and avoiding responsibility.
I saw this a lot when I worked in drug and alcohol services. Many people have had a difficult or painful past. But they often struggled to accept that they still accounted for the fact that they chose to use substances to ease the pain. You can’t spend your life looking back and blaming others for doing what you want to do now. One of the best things you can do for your emotional development is to accept the problems in your life and your role in maintaining them. Taking responsibility is scary. But it’s also incredibly liberating. Only then can we even realize that we can make a different choice in the future.
- An Ofsted report warns that almost all children are left behind by Covid. Students have returned to language skills, social interaction and physical dexterity. We must take it seriously. We need a targeted, specific action plan. Teachers unions won’t like it, but it’s certainly a reason to do something revolutionary – extend the school day for the next two terms, or shorten the summer break. This is not a permanent change, just an adjustment until we can make up for the loss of Covid. We have already lost a lot from this pandemic, we cannot even spare the development of the younger generation.
Dr. Max determines…
a boxing day walk
Dr Max recommends pulling your wells for a walk this Boxing Day, following research that trees are beneficial to our mental health (file image)
Research published by Forest Research and funded by the Forestry Commission, Scottish Forestry and the Welsh Government has shown how beneficial trees are to our mental health. For England alone, it is estimated that woodlands save £141 million in costs associated with mental illness, including GP visits, drug prescriptions and days lost due to mental health issues. So, this Boxing Day pull your wells up and take a walk in the woods.