7 gaslighting phrases people use to silence you – Times of India

Has anyone ever said something to you that makes you question your thoughts? Or your memories? If so, no doubt they are gaslighting you. A very common psychological abuse, gaslighting often goes unnoticed. It makes a person question their purity, perception of reality, or memories. In addition, people experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves. More importantly, it is the most subtle of the phrases that people use that gaslight. Below are 7 phrases that people use to silence you.

1. “You are crazy and need help”
Gaslighters often take on the role of doctors for their victims. They want you to question your own sanity to make you believe that the problem is really you, not their own deceit and manipulation. So as long as you are the one who needs “help”, they will never have to take responsibility for changing the way they think and behave.

2. “You should work on that”
Such phrases play with our emotional well being. It is usually used when you react or behave in a way that you don’t like so that you think the behavior is problematic. However, the truth is that it’s only problematic for the other person because it doesn’t fit the box they want to put you in. It is a way of establishing dominance over your mind.

3. “You’re just insecure and jealous”
This is their way of sowing the seeds of insecurities and doubts about your personality, attractiveness and personality. It allows people to have control over you. Furthermore, they do so to avoid doubt and to continue to take advantage of multiple sources of attention and praise.

4. “You’re Too Sensitive / You’re Overreacting”
Such a phrase proves that the person who is gaslighting you does not care about your feelings at all. According to experts, claiming that victims are overreacting or overly sensitive to emotional abuse is a popular way for people to override your certainty about the severity of the abuse you’ve experienced.

5. “Maybe that’s what you heard in your mind, but it’s not what I said”
This phrase denies your reality, your feelings, and asserts control over you. By saying this the other person makes it clear that they have not done or said anything wrong. It is you who are creating things in your mind.

6. “It was just a joke”
Disguising as “just a joke” is a popular tactic by people to gaslight you for cruel comments, negative comments, etc. They may engage in acts of name-calling, taunting, slander and contempt while avoiding responsibility for issuing an apology.

7. “You’re the problem here, not me”
It is common for abusing partners to call their victims narcissists and abusers, and to inflict their own qualities and behaviors on their victims. It is a way for them to make their victims believe that they are the ones to blame.