Have you ever felt like you’re constantly scanning the room, trying to gauge the moods of the people around you? Do you find yourself hyper-aware of facial expressions, tones of voice, and body language? If so, you might be engaging in emotional monitoring.
What is emotional monitoring?
Emotional monitoring is the practice of closely observing and analysing the emotions of others. It’s a way of trying to understand how others are feeling and predict their reactions. While empathy, or the ability to understand another’s feelings, is a positive quality, emotional monitoring can become excessive and lead to unhealthy dynamics. Here are 5 signs to be aware of if you suspect you might be emotionally monitoring others.
Preoccupation with Others’ Emotions: Your mind is constantly focused on how others are feeling, both before, during, and after interactions. You might find yourself rehearsing conversations in your head, trying to anticipate how the other person might react.
Difficulty Being Present: When interacting with others, you’re so busy analysing their emotional state that you struggle to be truly present in the moment. You miss out on genuine connections because you’re focused on deciphering hidden meanings.
Craving Reassurance: You constantly seek external validation and reassurance from others. This could take the form of needing constant compliments or feeling the need to apologize profusely, even for minor things.
Self-Doubt and Difficulty Setting Boundaries: You have a hard time believing positive things about yourself and your actions. This can lead to difficulty setting boundaries in relationships, as you prioritize others’ needs over your own.
Emotional Dependence: You struggle to self-soothe and regulate your own emotions. You rely on others to make you feel good, and their moods significantly impact your own.
If you recognise these signs in yourself, it’s important to remember that emotional monitoring is a habit that can be broken. There are techniques you can learn to develop healthier emotional regulation skills and become more present in your own life. Consider talking to a therapist who can help you develop tools and strategies for managing your anxieties and fostering a stronger sense of self-worth.