Sex may be pervasive in our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian homes. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow unscientific advice from their friends.
To dispel widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’ every Friday. We hope to start the conversation about sex with this column and address issues of sexual health with scientific insight and nuance.
This column is being written by Sexologist Prof. (Dr.) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr. Jain explains sexual performance anxiety and how to deal with it.
It is normal to feel restless before sex. However, if you’re feeling so nervous that you can’t have or enjoy sex, you may be suffering from sexual performance anxiety (SPA). Sexual performance anxiety includes fear or anxiety related to sexual activity. It can happen during sex or even before sex.
Sexual performance anxiety is sometimes confused with erectile dysfunction. While sexual performance anxiety can sometimes cause erectile dysfunction, they are two different conditions. Erectile dysfunction is the physical inability to get or maintain an erection. Sexual performance anxiety is sexual anxiety or fear of not being able to satisfy a partner, getting or keeping an erection, or other factors may be involved.
sexual performance anxiety symptoms
Symptoms of sexual performance anxiety can be both physical and psychological. These symptoms can range in severity and may occur frequently or occur only occasionally. Both men and women can experience sexual performance anxiety, but some of the symptoms may differ. These may include:
*Negative thoughts before or during sex
* Anxiety or fear before or during sex
*Inability to climax or orgasm during sex
* premature ejaculation (male)
* Delayed ejaculation (male)
* erectile dysfunction (male)
* Vaginal dryness (female)
* Difficulty getting aroused (female)
*Pain during sex (female)
*low libido
* increased heart rate
*Sweaty and upset stomach
cause of sexual performance anxiety
Your body goes through specific changes when you are concerned that may, in turn, affect your sexual performance. When you are anxious, you usually experience an increase in hormones such as norepinephrine and cortisol. There is no single cause for sexual performance anxiety (SPA). This is usually due to several biological and psychological factors such as:
1. Having body image and self-esteem issues: People who are overly concerned about their height, weight or the appearance of particular body parts may experience SPA when they engage in sexual activities.
2. Feeling emotionally detached from your partner: Sometimes SPA can be due to emotional issues that you are going through with your partner.
3. Dealing with a mental health condition: Depression and generalized anxiety disorder can contribute to SPA.
4. Lack of sexual experience: People who have little sexual experience may feel some performance anxiety when they start having sex.
5. Looks like trouble: Stress affects all aspects of our lives, including our sex life. Sometimes the SPA can start because you are stressed at work.
6. Past negative sexual experiences: Having negative sexual experiences with your current partner or former partner in the past can lead to SPA.
7. Excessive consumption of pornographic material: This can sometimes give you the wrong impression of how sex should look and feel. Research has linked porn to the development of sexual dysfunction.
How to deal with sexual performance anxiety?
The first step in dealing with sexual performance anxiety is to let go of any shame you may be feeling about not having an optimal sex life. In some cases, sexual performance anxiety goes away over time, especially with having a new sexual partner or where the relationship issue with your partner has been resolved.
Here are some other tips that can help you overcome sexual performance anxiety:
Take note: Meditation is often recommended for dealing with any type of performance anxiety.
masturbate: Spend some time with yourself to better understand your needs.
Get out of your head When you’re having sex, try to spend more time enjoying his antics rather than worrying about what’s going wrong.
Accept that sex isn’t always right: There will be some days when you probably just won’t feel it. It most likely has nothing to do with your physical ability.
Slow down and take your time: Sometimes, you may not have spent enough time engaging in foreplay with your partner.
relieve stress: One of the causes of sexual performance anxiety is stress on other factors in your life, such as finances or work. Meditation, exercise, and regular sleep can help manage stress.
Consult a sexologist: Consulting a sexologist can help you find the root of your sexual performance anxiety.
Sexual performance anxiety can be challenging both mentally and socially, and can negatively affect romantic relationships. However, with a variety of pharmacological and psychotherapeutic treatment options, as well as coping techniques, you can overcome the condition.
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